50+ Roasts For Skinny People

Roasting is an art form built on playful teasing, quick wit, and the understanding that everyone involved is laughing together, not at each other. When done right, a good roast about someone being skinny can be hilarious and memorable. When done wrong, it crosses into hurtful territory that damages relationships and self-esteem.

Playful Food Related Roasts

Food jokes are classic roast territory for skinny people because they’re absurd and exaggerated rather than genuinely insulting.

Roasts to Use:

• You don’t eat food, food eats you.
• I’ve seen more meat on a vegetarian pizza.
• You could hide behind a flagpole and no one would find you.
• Your idea of gaining weight is putting on a watch.
• You’re so skinny, you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
• I bet you can dodge raindrops.
• You’re proof that air has calories because that’s all you’re living on.
• Your arms look like two pieces of uncooked spaghetti.
• You could use a Cheerio as a hula hoop.
• When you turn sideways, you disappear.
• You’re so thin, your pajamas only have one stripe.
• I’ve seen thicker soup at a hospital cafeteria.
• You don’t need a belt, you need a staple.
• Your skeleton is just waiting for you to catch up.
• You look like you’d blow away in a strong breeze.

What NOT to say: “You look sick, like you have a disease or something.” Comparing someone’s natural body type to illness isn’t funny, it’s genuinely hurtful and concerning.

Clothing and Style Roasts

Jokes about how clothes fit skinny people can be funny without being mean, especially when they’re clearly exaggerated.

Roasts to Use:

• You don’t shop in the kids section, the kids section shops for you.
• Your belt has more holes than a golf course.
• You could wear a scarf as a dress.
• Your clothes don’t fit, they just hang around hoping for the best.
• You bought skinny jeans and they’re still too loose.
• Your shirt looks like it’s wearing you.
• You need suspenders, a belt, and prayers to keep your pants up.
• You could fit both legs in one pant leg and still have room.
• Your hoodie is so big on you, you look like you’re being swallowed.
• Shopping for you must be easy, everything is oversized.
• You’re the only person who makes large look like extra large.
• Your watch slides from your wrist to your elbow.
• You could use your shirt as a parachute.
• Your jeans have their own zip code with all that extra fabric.

What NOT to say: “You look like a little kid playing dress up in adult clothes.” Infantilizing someone based on their body isn’t playful, it’s demeaning.

Exaggerated Comparison Roasts

Comparisons work well because they’re so ridiculous that everyone knows you’re joking.

Roasts to Use:

• You’re so skinny, you make a pencil look thick.
• I’ve seen more curves on a ruler.
• You’re basically a human stick figure come to life.
• Toothpicks are jealous of your physique.
• You’re what happens when you order a person from Wish.
• You look like someone drew you and forgot to color you in.
• You’re skinnier than my patience on a Monday morning.
• I’ve seen more mass in a light breeze.
• You’re like a human noodle, before it’s cooked.
• You make a string bean look bulky.
• You’re so thin, you could limbo under a closed door.
• You look like you were stretched in Photoshop and someone forgot to undo it.
• You’re what people see when they draw stick figures with details.
• Your shadow has more width than you do.
• You look like you’re always in vertical stripe mode.

What NOT to say: “You look like a skeleton with skin draped over it.” This is grotesque rather than funny and can genuinely upset people.

Strength and Athletic Roasts

Playful jabs about strength can work if they’re clearly jokes and not actual challenges to someone’s abilities.

Roasts to Use:

• I bet you struggle opening pickle jars and doors on windy days.
• Your workout routine is just existing and hoping to gain weight.
• You don’t lift weights, weights lift you.
• I’ve seen more muscle definition on a bowl of jello.
• Your biceps are more like bye-ceps, they’re never there.
• You don’t do push ups, you do push aways from the table.
• Your gym membership is just for the free WiFi, right?
• I bet you get tired walking up a flight of expectations.
• Your arms look like they’re still loading.
• You’re so light, you could fly if you caught a good tailwind.
• Your idea of heavy lifting is carrying a conversation.
• I bet you have to wear ankle weights just to stay grounded.
• You don’t need a gym membership, you need a kitchen membership.
• Your muscles are like my motivation, theoretically there somewhere.

What NOT to say: “You’re so weak and pathetic, you probably can’t even defend yourself.” Roasts should never make someone feel genuinely inadequate or unsafe.

Self Aware Roasts Skinny People Can Use

Sometimes the best roasts come from skinny people roasting themselves. It shows confidence and takes the power away from anyone trying to be mean.

Roasts to Use:

• I’m not skinny, I’m just easier to kidnap. Please don’t.
• My body type is “I forgot to eat again.”
• I’m not thin, I’m just very good at hiding behind things.
• People ask if I eat. I ask them if they’ve met food, it’s amazing.
• My superpower is disappearing when I turn sideways.
• I don’t work out, but gravity is still trying to figure me out.
• I’m proof that skipping leg day also applies to your entire body.
• My skeleton called, it wants more padding.
• I’m what happens when someone orders a medium but gets a small.
• I’m basically a strong wind’s favorite target.
• My body type is “permanent sample size.”
• I eat constantly, my metabolism just has other plans.
• I’m not skinny, I’m aerodynamic.
• Being this thin is hard work. Just kidding, it’s genetics and forgetting lunch.

What NOT to say as self deprecation: “I’m so disgusting and gross looking.” Self roasts should be funny, not genuinely negative about yourself.

READ: Random Funny Things to Say

Roasts for Different Relationships

The closeness of your relationship determines how bold you can be with your roasts.

For Close Friends:

• Dude, you’re so skinny I could use you as a bookmark.
• You look like you’re one missed meal away from being two dimensional.
• I’ve seen more substance in a soap bubble.
• You’re the human version of a capri sun after someone drank it.
• If you stood behind a basketball, no one would see you.

For Siblings:

• Mom called, she wants to know if you’re actually eating the food she sends.
• You’re so skinny, I’m worried a strong hug might break you.
• Remember when we used to share clothes? Now I could fit three of you in my shirt.
• You’re like the before picture in every fitness ad.
• I could probably bench press you with my pinky.

For Friendly Coworkers:

• You make the office chairs look oversized.
• I bet you save money on groceries at least.
• You’re so thin, you probably get discounts at buffets out of pity.
• Do you even cast a shadow or does light just go around you?

What NOT to do: Roast someone you barely know or someone in a professional setting where humor might be misunderstood as harassment.

When NOT to Roast Someone About Being Skinny

Some situations and contexts make body based roasts completely inappropriate, no matter how funny you think they are.

Don’t roast if:

• The person has expressed insecurity about their weight or body
• They’ve mentioned struggling with an eating disorder, past or present
• You’re not close enough to know how they’ll receive it
• They’re going through a stressful time or health issue
• You’re in a professional or formal setting
• They’ve asked people not to comment on their body
• Other people have already made similar comments recently
• You’re using it to deflect from your own insecurities

Reading the room isn’t optional. It’s essential. The funniest roast in the world isn’t worth making someone feel bad about themselves.

How to Respond If You’re Roasted About Being Skinny

If you’re on the receiving end of skinny roasts, you have options for how to handle it.

Laugh it off: If it’s genuinely funny and from someone you trust, laughing with them shows confidence.

Roast back: Return fire with a playful jab of your own. Keep it light and match their energy.

Set a boundary: If it bothers you, say so clearly. “I know you’re joking, but I’d prefer if we didn’t make jokes about my body.”

Use humor to deflect: “Yeah, yeah, I’m skinny. Got any new material or are we recycling jokes from 2015?”

Walk away: If someone won’t stop after you’ve asked them to, remove yourself from the situation. You don’t owe anyone your discomfort for their entertainment.

“The best roasts are the ones where everyone leaves laughing, including the person being roasted.”

Roasting someone about being skinny can be hilarious when done with care, creativity, and genuine affection. The key is knowing your audience, reading the room, and always prioritizing the relationship over the joke. A good roast should make everyone laugh together, create a funny memory, and strengthen your bond through shared humor.

So roast with love, laugh with intention, and always remember that the person you’re teasing is more important than the laugh you’re chasing.